Irrationality is the Best Quality
by Uphill Both Ways
Summary: After a two hour bus ride, a less than desirable roommate, and a bout of chronic nose bleeding; Shizuo's lost his ability to make good judgement calls. /Shizaya/


Springs in the abused mattress protested loudly as the heavy suitcase was thrown furiously down onto the hotel bed.

"I still can't fucking _believe_ this," the blond growled, punching his beaten up bag for good measure.

"Aw, come on Shizu-chan, lighten up."

Shizuo glared over his shoulder at the grinning brunet, who skipped over to the other bed and flopped down on it, along with his own duffle bag.

"It's just like a sleepover! You should be happier that you get to sleep with me, "he winked up at Shizuo, who continued to glower at him.

"Well, _Izaya-kun_, sorry that after two and a half hours of you jabbing me with your _fucking pen_, I'm not exactly _thrilled _to have you as a roommate," Shizuo dropped his gaze to unzip the suitcase.

Izaya frowned on the other bed, and pretended to be hurt.

"And I thought that bus ride to Mito was _life-changing_."

Shizuo scoffed, "Yeah, right. I still fucking hate you," he pulled out a pair of blue gym sweats, and a white undershirt, "you're lucky the teachers won't let me kill you," he mumbled.

"Yes, I'm ever so thankful," Izaya sighed, sitting up on the squeaking bed and glancing curiously around at the small hotel room.

He frowned, "Though I could do without the vomit-colored walls. Seriously, who ever thought this was a good color fo—"

"_Zip it_ with the interior design bitching," Shizuo growled.

Izaya shrugged nonchalantly, "Just trying to make conversation."

"Go to bed."

"What are you, eight? It's only ten PM, Shizu-chan. I wanna walk around a bit."

"Whatever. The less I have to deal with you, the better."

Shizuo shrugged, picking up his clothes and a toothbrush, shoving the latter in his mouth as he headed to the bathroom.

Mouth open to retort, Izaya was interrupted by the enthusiastic banging on the room door. Shuffling over, Izaya opened up and was greeted by an energetic Shinra, who was decked in ridiculous-looking pink pajamas and night-cap.

"Well you look…special," Izaya mumbled.

"Dashing, I know, Celty gave these to me!" Shinra explained with a wide grin.

"Figures. So what brings this pleasant surprise?"

"Oh, I just came to check on you and Shizuo. I wondered if you two had killed each other yet. Guess not." Shinra pursed his lips, peering behind Izaya into the hotel room, seemingly displeased with the absence of destruction.

"How do you know his dead body isn't in a closet or something?" Izaya challenged.

"Is it?" Excitement returned to the glasses-wearing brunet.

"No, Shinra, unfortunately I haven't killed that thing yet."

"Oh. Well. I guess I'll just go then, you know, gotta catch some sleep for tomorrow. Can't go to Kairakuen tired!"

"Yeah, yeah. You're sick, Shinra," Izaya grinned, shutting the door when Shinra smiled and headed back to his room.

Izaya clicked his tongue, standing in the doorway to the room, but not feeling like going anywhere anymore. He scuffled back to the beds, and for a few moments, listened to the rushing of shower water coming from behind the closed bathroom door. He grinned to himself, and went to the bathroom door, frowning when he discovered it locked.

* * *

Shizuo sighed, massaging the shampoo from his scalp as the warm water raced down his body. The school trip from Ikebukuro to Mito to see the Historical Kairakuen Garden had piled stress on him, mostly due to the fact he'd been assigned a hotel room with Izaya. And though Shizuo had sat with Shinra on the bus ride, the babbling boy had been the least of his worries. Izaya and Kadota had taken the seat behind them, and the flea had taken it upon himself to find entertainment in prodding Shizuo's head with a ballpoint pen.

Just the memory of it made Shizuo tense irritably in the shower, despite the soothing effects of the steam. Trying to numb his mind again, Shizuo didn't notice the soft whooshing of the shower door being slid open and closed.

"Ahh, this is nice, Shizu-chan."

Hands freezing in his hair, Shizuo spun around, wide-eyed, and was met with Izaya leaning casually against the opposite tan-tiled shower wall. Not daring to look below the pale chest, where small rivulets of water began trailing down flushed skin, Shizuo felt his cheeks heat and anger and surprise boil in his stomach.

"IIIIzayaaa, get the _fuck_ out of here before I rip your dick off," Shizuo couldn't help the awkwardness he felt after those words, though he still faced Izaya with a twitching scowl.

Izaya frowned at him, though Shizuo could tell he was trying not to smirk.

"That's not very nice. I'm just trying to get some hot water before you waste it all."

"Get. Out._ Now_," Shizuo snarled, yanking open the shower door and reaching out for Izaya.

The smaller boy dodged his hand easily, brushing against Shizuo in the confined space to slip behind him.

"I don't think I will, Shizu-chan. You're not the only one who wants a shower," Izaya stated.

Shizuo tried not to think about the slick feel of Izaya's wet skin touching his, and turned again to face Izaya in their switched positions.

"No matter how many showers you take, you'll always be filth, _Izaya-kun_." Shizuo grinned, though only malice laced his lips.

"You're quite the romantic, Shizu-chan." Izaya grinned up at Shizuo, folding his arms over his chest.

Shizuo slammed his palms against the tiles on either wide of Izaya's head, making a slight tremor run through the shower, and leaned towards the other, ignoring the proximity.

"You'll get out of this shower _now_, Izaya, and wait until I'm done with mine, instead of continuing to annoy me. Got it?" Shizuo spoke slowly and through his teeth, though the threatening tone seemed to pass right over Izaya's head. The brunet smiled widely, and before Shizuo knew what he was doing, Izaya patted his cheek in mock-affection, spraying the soap he'd somehow coated his palm with over Shizuo's face.

"Whatever you say, Shizu-chan." Izaya said happily.

Eyes stinging immensely, Shizuo hissed and backed away from Izaya, trying to rub the soap from his eyes. Rather than seeing, he heard Izaya walk out of the shower and turn on the faucet. Suddenly, icy water sliced against Shizuo's skin, and the blond shivered, unable to even yell at Izaya like he wanted to.

"Sorry, I had to wash the soap off my hands," Shizuo heard Izaya call.

Shizuo cursed Izaya mentally, knowing, just knowing, the brunet was laughing at him. The water returned to normal as the other left the bathroom, and Shizuo sighed, still shaking slightly. He rubbed his face in the flow of water, and closing his eyes he was presented with images of Izaya's naked and wet body. His eyes quickly shot open again, and he looked down at his hands, where a pinkish tinge to the water was washing away. He wiped at his nose, which was burning like his cheeks, and watched blood wash away from his fingertips.

He groaned to himself. _'Great. Roommates with Izaya, and now allergies?'_

Trying to banish the thoughts of Izaya's flawless damp skin seemed impossible to Shizuo, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why.

Every time he blinked, the images of inky black hair slicked against the flushed cheeks and forehead resurfaced, seemingly seared into his mind's eye. The water in the shower didn't seem to help, getting increasingly cool, and Shizuo's nose bleeding, from what he figured was allergies, didn't seem to stop either. He decided to end the shower, and try to get some sleep, hoping his allergies would clear and the unwanted mental images as well as the bleeding would stop.

Shizuo dried himself slowly with the towel, before slipping into his pajamas and heading into the bedroom. He noticed a lump in Izaya's bed, and narrowing his eyes, he realized Izaya had curled up and gone to sleep already. _'So much for walking around'_, Shizuo thought.

Flicking the light switch, the hotel room went dark, and Shizuo happily slid under his cold blankets and drifted into sleep.

_"Shizu-chan…"_

_Shizuo was walking slowly through the hallways at Raijin, knowing exactly where he was going, but completely unaware at the same time. He followed the sound of a lofty voice, familiar and strange at the same time. He knew who was calling him, but at the same time, he didn't. The voice called out to him again, slightly louder._

_"Shizu-chan…"_

_He only knew one person who would call him that, but he couldn't remember who it was. So he kept striding down the hallway, looking left and right every so often, searching for the source of the voice._

_"Shizu-chan…"_

_Louder again, the voice called, and Shizuo suddenly realized it was coming from the boy's bathroom. Shizuo hurried to the door, and pushed it open harshly, surprised but somehow prepared for what he saw._

_"Shizu-chan," Izaya moaned in front of him, ruby eyes gazing into Shizuo's with an intensity he'd never seen before._

_The brunet's hand was snaked down to the crotch of his pants, where his erect length protruded, covered in milky pre-cum. His slender fingers stroked the engorged flesh, and his breaths came out in small pants.  
_

_Shizuo was hypnotized by the crimson orbs, glazed with lust, and much more jewel-like than he remembered._

_"Nngh, Shizu-chan, please," Izaya begged, voice husky. His hips bucked into his hands and pre-cum squirted from the flushed head. Shizuo felt his body move, without his control, and he crouched down over Izaya, feeling the other's hot breath over his face._

_"Shizu-chan, take me, I need you," the other panted, and Shizuo leaned forward, silently capturing his lips._

_The exchange was sloppy and wet, saliva dripping from their mouths as their tongues slid eagerly against each other. Shizuo's hands traveled down Izaya's body, ripping the shirt that clung to his torso off, and tossed it somewhere across the floor. His left hand worked on tweaking hard nipples, causing Izaya to moan into his mouth, and the right hand inched down past his navel to his jeans, where he grasped the other's erection and started to pump it._

_Izaya moaned louder, trembling in Shizuo's hands. The blond stopped his ministrations on the other's chest, and tore the jeans and boxers from Izaya's hips, as well as unzipping his own fly and letting his own erection hang out. Shizuo pulled Izaya into his lap, and the brunet rolled his hips towards Shizuo's arousal, sliding his cock against the blond's._

_Shizuo growled, and moved his hands to Izaya's back, spreading his ass and shoving two of his fingers in the other's hole greedily. Izaya gasped and bucked against the fingers, while Shizuo scissored him. After a few more thrusts in the soft heat of Izaya's entrance, Shizuo lost his patience and positioned Izaya's thighs over his erection, ready to surround himself with dizzying pleasure._

_He slipped his head teasingly around the other's entrance, before pushing in slowly, and Izaya gasped as he—_

Shizuo awoke in a flurry, panting and hot, feeling uncomfortable stickiness in his boxers. His head hurt as he sat up quickly, and feeling something drip onto his lips, Shizuo wiped at his nose and pulled away to find his finger coated in blood.

"Fucking _allergies_," he hissed.

Glancing at the clock on the hotel nightstand, Shizuo groaned. In another two hours it would be time to wake up anyway for the class trip, and he didn't feel like he could sleep any longer, despite still being exhausted. He flipped on the light switch next to his bed, and buried his face in his hands, trying to clear his aching head.

He heard Izaya groan in the bed next to him, after forgetting that he shared a room with the other.

"Shizu-chan?" The other called groggily.

Shizuo peered over his shoulder as Izaya propped himself into a kneeling position on the bed, looking twice as tired as Shizuo himself. His eyes were watery and his hair was a mess, his gray hoodie slipped over one shoulder and his black shorts had slid to just hanging from his hips.

"Hm?" Shizuo felt his breath catch in his throat, and had to force the noise out, sounding far more high-pitched than usual. Izaya seemed too exhausted to notice, rubbing his sleeve-covered fist against his eyes to sharpen the blurs, before squinting at the clock.

"Why the hell are you awake, stupid? We've got another two hours." Izaya pouted, obviously displeased with being woken up. Shizuo couldn't bring himself to care, transfixed on the childish expression Izaya was making.

"Er, I, uh, don't feel like sleeping," Shizuo stuttered.

Izaya merely looked at him incredulously.

"Well fine, if you wanna be a crazy person. Just don't wake me up when you feel like being a retard," he mumbled, reaching across the space between the beds to turn the lights back off. Shizuo watched Izaya curl back under the covers, eyes adjusting to the dark. He knew by the feeling of liquid against his lips that his nose was bleeding again. He figured he might just be allergic to the hotel in general.

After changing his boxers, Shizuo spent the next hour watching television, silently, from his bed. The subtitles were annoying and didn't quite fit the movements of the mouths, but it was better than nothing. Usually he wouldn't have cared if he were to wake Izaya with the noise of it, only he didn't like the way his body was reacting to seeing Izaya currently.

Shizuo flopped against the mattress after turning off the TV, the bed hard rather than soft beneath him. It was probably the crappy bed's fault he was having such strange dreams. Sitting up, he flipped the lights on again, deciding to get ready early. Rising from the bed and bending down to unzip his suitcase, Shizuo heard Izaya groaning from behind him again.

"Shiiiiiizuuuuuu-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, turn off the lights," he whined.

Shizuo set his clothes on his bed, and glared at Izaya.

"No. Time to get ready, flea."

"But Shizuuuu," Izaya flopped onto his side and glanced at the clock, "we have another hoouuuurrrrrr."

For some reason, rather than be irritated by it, Shizuo found the tired inflection in Izaya's breaking voice endearing.

When Shizuo remained silent, and continued searching through his bag after hoisting it up on his bed, Izaya huffed. He puffed his cheeks out and sat up on the bed, glaring at Shizuo with a pout on his face. Shizuo looked up at him, and almost laughed despite the heat stirring in the pit of his stomach.

"Is that supposed to be intimidating?"

"Yes," Izaya grumbled.

Shizuo just looked amused before looking back at his things. Izaya rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the bed, stumbling slightly as he walked. He shuffled next to Shizuo, and as he moved behind the blond to hit the light switch, Shizuo grabbed his wrist. Izaya glared at him.

"You're not going back to sleep. Get ready."

"No."

"Izaya," Shizuo warned, squeezing the other's wrist.

Izaya winced, and Shizuo immediately regretted his actions, releasing the other's hand.

"But Shizu-chan, I'm so _tired_," Izaya complained, collapsing on Shizuo's shoulder, dropping his arms to his sides.

Shizuo tried to ignore the heat rushing to his face, and was grateful for the baggy sweats that covered his growing bulge.

"Are you _always_ this obnoxious in the morning?" Shizuo grumbled.  
Izaya rolled off of Shizuo and onto the blond's bed, sprawling out on his back.

"Only for you," he grinned up at Shizuo. The hoodie was hiked up so far that it barely covered his chest anymore, and the shorts now revealed maroon boxers.

Trying to force himself not to stare at Izaya's creamy skin, Shizuo swallowed heavily and went back to zipping up his bag. The other flipped over on the bed and curled against one of Shizuo's pillows, shutting his eyes and attempting to fall back asleep.

Knowing he should ignore the brunet and start to get ready, but captivated by the smaller body, with adorably disheveled hair and loose clothes that _begged_ to be torn off, Shizuo couldn't move. He had the powerful urge to reach out and touch the exposed skin of the other's navel, remembering what the soft flesh felt like in the shower—only worried that the other would wake up. Well…he could pretend like he was trying to wake Izaya up. Then he'd have an excuse…and it's not like he'd normally want to do this, it was all the allergies' fault.

Ignoring the fact that his reasoning made, for the most part, no sense, Shizuo slowly extended his hand across the bed, and brushed his timid fingers against the warm skin of Izaya's stomach.

With gained confidence, Shizuo pressed his entire palm against the soft skin, stroking slowly. Letting his mind numb, Shizuo dared to hook his fingers in the belt loops of Izaya's shorts and pull them down over his bent knees. He caressed an exposed thigh, reveling in the supple, delicate texture.

Maroon boxers soon joined the shorts on the side of the bed.

Shizuo swallowed again, knowing that if Izaya were to awaken, there'd be no hiding his erection or the lack of clothes on his lower body. Raking his eyes over Izaya's pelvis, he licked his lips offhandedly, tasting the coppery tang of blood.

_'Damn allergies_,' he thought, before grabbing Izaya's hips and laying him flat against the bed.

"Sh-Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo's eyes shot up at Izaya, who was blinking furiously, trying to fix his watery eyes. Two weak palms pressed faintly against Shizuo's chest.

"What're you doin'?" Izaya asked, slurring his words, not quite sleep-sober yet.

"That's a good question," Shizuo replied, before leaning down and licking the shell of Izaya's ear.

Shuddering, Izaya gasped as his nerves were stimulated all at once, unable to process what was going on.

"Hey, no, stop, Shizu-chan," Izaya whined, pushing fruitlessly against the broad chest.

Instead of listening, Shizuo moved his tongue down to the other's neck, and trailed his fingers under Izaya's hoodie and up his sides. Izaya shivered under his cold fingers.

"Knock it off, I'm trying to sleep," Izaya complained, trying again to get the larger boy off of him.

Shizuo pulled away from Izaya's neck, but continued to twirl his thumbs against Izaya's nipples.

"Oh, so you'd let me do this if you weren't trying to sleep?" Shizuo's voice was husky, and sounded foreign to his own ears.

Izaya stared back at him in confusion, cheeks flushed and lips ajar, trying to process what Shizuo was saying.

"Wha? No?" Izaya shut his eyes and rubbed at them with his fists, trying to wake himself up. He made a noise of protest when Shizuo grabbed both of his wrists, straddling his waist, and laid them behind his head. Kissing each eyelid, Shizuo ripped part of the hotel's sheets and wrapped it around Izaya's wrists before tying them to the headboard.

"Then what was that thing about in the shower?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya frowned and seemed to take effort in remembering what Shizuo was talking about.

"I was jus' playin with you, Shizu," Izaya yawned.

As the brunet reopened his eyes, however much he wanted to keep them closed, he found Shizuo an inch away from his face, before his lips were captured by the other.

"Mmph!" Izaya let out a muffled yelp, as the other's tongue massaged his mouth.

"Shizu," Izaya spoke between kisses, "let me sleep," the other's continued to attack his mouth hungrily, "you stupid protozoan," Izaya's talking stopped there, as a tongue invaded his mouth. Giving into the advances, Izaya kissed back weakly.

When Shizuo finally backed away from his mouth, Izaya panted for air, more flustered and mussed than before. The sensations wracking his body covered any traces of coherent logic, so he bucked into the caresses as Shizuo's fluttering kisses and fingertips littered his body.

_"Fuck,_" Izaya hissed.

Shizuo grinned against his skin, "Yeah, that's what I'm about to do to you."

Izaya groaned, but made no other protests.

Snaking down to Izaya's budding erection, Shizuo pressed the reddening head up against the other's stomach, before licking the underside of the arousal, earning an appreciative moan. He sucked on the balls greedily, and spun his tongue from the base to the tip of Izaya's cock.

_"Shizu-chan_," Izaya gasped in a daze.

Pre-cum connecting his wet lips to Izaya's shaft, Shizuo gazed at Izaya, whose head was thrown back against the mattress, and whose chest was heaving under his touches, mouth ajar and panting.

Shizuo lowered himself back down to the other's thighs, and pushed Izaya's balls up a bit, causing the other's hips to rise slightly, just enough for Shizuo to spread his behind with his other hand. He pressed his face against Izaya's entrance, and pushed his tongue into his hole. Izaya tensed up and gasped, and Shizuo swirled his tongue around a bit until Izaya relaxed and spread his legs a bit more.

_"Nngh,_" Izaya moaned, rolling his hips back against Shizuo's tongue.

Removing his wet muscle from Izaya's entrance, Shizuo hooked an elbow beneath each of Izaya's knees. He trailed kisses down Izaya's leg from his knee to his toes, curling his tongue around the big toe before sucking on it, holding Izaya's leg in place as it kicked involuntarily. Izaya moaned and looked at Shizuo with half-hooded eyes, glazed and lazy and as red as the rest of his face.

Shizuo released Izaya's toe with a slurp, eyed never leaving Izaya's, and pressed the other's legs forward, so that his knees almost reached his ears. Shizuo lifted his hips, pulling down his boxers and sweats with one hand, while Izaya hooked his legs over Shizuo's shoulders, turning him on more with the surprising flexibility.

"You sure you want more?" Shizuo teased, lust lacing his voice.

"Hnn, _yeah—ahh_," Izaya whimpered.

They both knew Shizuo would've continued no matter what the answer had been.

With one quick thrust, Shizuo buried most of himself in Izaya, and the other let out a silent scream, convulsing around Shizuo's length. Back arched, Izaya felt himself beginning to cramp in the position, and moved against Shizuo to tell him to continue, hoping that the pleasure would be better than the pain.

Shizuo inhaled before sliding out almost all the way, and slamming back in, filling Izaya with more of his engorged erection.

"Shi-_aah_!"Izaya yelped, clenching his eyes shut.

Kissing Izaya's glistening temple, Shizuo pulled out and thrust in again, starting to develop a pace. Harsh breathing joined that slap of skin on skin. In pure bliss from the heat surrounding him, Shizuo's vision went blank, making him lose sight of Izaya's pleasure-coated face.

"_Mmnahh,"_ Izaya gasped after Shizuo made a particularly hard thrust, and bucked up against Shizuo, _"faster_," he commanded.

Angling again, Shizuo thrust in more quickly, and Izaya rolled his hips against his thrusts in a clockwise direction, increasing the depth of Shizuo's thrusts as well as stroking his erection. The hotel bed's noise rand deaf in their ears as they neared completion, Shizuo grinding into Izaya while Izaya pulled against his binds in ecstasy. They came loose eventually, and Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, pulling him impossibly closer as he reached his climax, and milky cum splattered onto his stomach and hoodie.

Shizuo gazed down at Izaya, blond hair dusting over the other's cheeks with his frantic thrusting, until he felt his erection pulse, coming in Izaya. Pulling out with a squelch, Shizuo gently pushed Izaya's legs off his shoulders, and laid himself next to Izaya.

Izaya stared up at the ceiling, chest slowing in its rhythm, though he could steal hear his heartbeat pounding. He glanced beside him at Shizuo, who stared back at him.

Before either could break the silence, there was a knock on the door.

"Shit," Izaya hissed, and flung himself from the bed, quickly pulling his boxers and shorts on before limping to the door.

"What?" He snapped, opening it to find Shinra smiling at him.

"So, either of you dead yet?" Shinra inquired.

"Apparently not." Izaya growled.

"Aw, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Shinra giggled. It grated on Izaya's already frazzled nerves.

"Something like that."

Shinra eyed his hoodie curiously.

"Say, what's that?"

Izaya blanched, glancing at the drying cum on the gray fabric.

"I spilled some creamer on myself."

"Creamer?"

"I made coffee."

"Izaya, you don't drink coffee."

"I can if I want to!" Izaya snapped, throwing his hands in the air. Shinra looked amused.

"You're not a morning person, huh?"

Izaya just glared at Shinra before slamming the door in his face.

"Alright, well the class is leaving in fifteen minutes!" Shinra's voice was muffled by the door.

Izaya stalked over to the beds, and pushed Shizuo onto the floor.

"Up. Dressed. Out. Now," He demanded grouchily.

Shizuo stood up and stretched, "Not tired anymore?"

Throwing the clothes Shizuo had gotten out earlier in the blond's face, Izaya stomped over to his own suitcase.

"Someone's grumpy," Shizuo continued to tease.

"It's your own damn fault, stupid asshole," Izaya grumbled, sifting through his things.

Izaya jumped when arms wrapped around his waist, and Shizuo crouched behind him.

"You're pretty cute when you're mad," he whispered into Izaya's ear.

Shuddering, but not responding, Izaya pulled clothes from his bag with newfound determination.

Shizuo decided he didn't mind his 'allergies' so much anymore.

* * *

**A/N: Stalked the kinkmeme and filled this. I'm so braindead. **

**See-} vjrbengjrigjif! {-That's what being braindead looks like.**


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